End of an era

Have I really been breastfeeding for over 3 years? I nursed D for 18 months and B is now 21 months. Crazy. I hate the reason why I'm done. Migraines. Once again, I'm done because I can't tolerate the pain and need to go on meds that I can't breastfeed with. It was the same way with D. Sucks. At least B took pity on me tonight. I'm not really sure why I decided to do it tonight, it just happened. Instead of nursing him, I read to him in the rocking chair. When he got squirmy, I asked if it was time for bed and he nodded. When I turned the light off and was holding him he started pointing to the chair. I don't know if he was pointing to the book on the ottoman or if he was expecting me to nurse him. I didn't ask. He definitely would have wanted the boob. I sang to him a little and he started pointing to the crib. So I put him down. No tears, no nothing. From him anyway. My heart broke a little. He's only been getting one boob, one time a day for months now. But it was our time. It was special. And relaxing after most days that were stressful and filled with a lot of craziness. But he's almost 2. He doesn't need to be nursed and I need to be able to function. I'm not doing right by my family when I'm in pain and bitchy. So, I have to give up nursing B. My breastfeeding days are over. And I'm so sad. But I know that it's for the best and one of these days, soon probably, I will feel ok again and realize that B and I will always have a special connection. I love you B!