Frustrating Times

Everyday is a fight. A fight to keep my sanity. B is constantly a handful. Between the tantrums, exhaustion, strange allergic/asthmatic cough thing and being an almost 2 year old, we have our hands totally full. I feel like I can never be grateful for the good things. Our kids are basically healthy, very bright and so loving. We have a great house. David has a job that allows me to stay home with the kids. So many good things. And I'm constantly miserable. Exhausted. Wishing for something else. Jealous of those who have what I want. My therapist today said it's not that I'm not grateful, because I am, it's that I'm overwhelmed by the things that are so hard. She wants me to get out more. HA! I wish I could! If only we had Mary Poppins to help us. And the money to pay her. Unfortunately we did not win the $314 Mega Million jackpot today. I'm so isolated. My friends are dealing with their kids. It's still cold and flu season and with B's breathing stuff right now, I'm not interested at all in going back to My Gym for awhile. Or for being indoors with other kids for that matter. UGH!

Let's go back a week. We went to see David, Molly and Tara last weekend. It was nice to get away. Although in the first hour of the drive, I thought we were going to have to turn around because B would not settle down and was so fussy. Fortunately, we stopped in Santa Barbara for lunch and all was fine after that. We saw the Prestons for afternoon and dinnertime and then went to the hotel. B was a little hesitant in his new sleeping environment but did really well. D was the one who kept getting us up! Anyway, I saw Christie who I hadn't seen in 22 years the next day which was pretty cool. The kids napped fine and we were able to see the Prestons again. B slept well that night too while D was so so. I think she was just overtired. The next day the rain came. We went to a gym class with Molly and Tara which was fun but the wheels were starting to fall off the cart...B was getting more and more fussy. I think he was overstimulated being out of his own environment. That afternoon we went to see Erica and family at their new house in SLO. We celebrated Santiago's birthday and hung out. We had thought about going home that night because of the weather but then decided not to because we thought the kids would get a good night sleep. Which was the case except for D falling out of her bed at 4am. Oh well. Best laid plans. Anyway, after packing the car and checking out, B starting to have one of his coughing fits. We needed to give him a treatment so we stopped at the Prestons, did the treatment and got on the road. B was asleep 30 minutes later. We drove in horrible rain the whole way home, only stopping once for lunch in Ventura. The rain actually was worse once we were home. Regardless, the weekend was surprisingly better than we had expected and the kids did pretty well.

Maybe this week has been a recovery week for B. He hasn't napped very well. Basically, if he isn't kept busy, he's a clingy, tired wreck. Which makes me just a tired wreck. Again, I sound so ungrateful for this wonderful son of mine. Someday I will look back on all of this with him and laugh...oh remember when??? Sigh....